Retro Links - From 12/6/2007

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen — I believe in the links. I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

The Jambaroo - So not only did I use the phrase "Superman dat ho" last night in front of brigitte, i then had to explain to her what it meant.

I like to think in my little head that not only do you enjoy getting this every week, but that you forward it to friends and i have this massive cult following at The Rock.
Peyton's Priceless PepTalks = FN hilarious, "bagpiping" cracked me the F up


A facinating article discussing the importance and history of "Stairway to Heaven"

Penalties for outrageous scenes in sports movies

Slusho!!!! You can't drink just Six

A comprehensive list of all of Chris "You're with me Leather" Berman's Bermanisms for baseball players

Feel free to buy this for me for Christmas, or steal it from someone who has it


Yippee YEE-HAW!!!!!!


Another fine Slate musical article, this time on the importance of Thriller

The blog name is only topped by the post name. Fun story, everytime Najeh breaks free a run I refer to it as dropping one in the hamper. Good times.

Link of the week - "Freelance all over my face" ewwwww

Links - May 22,2008

You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you … all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars … while you could only dream of getting out … getting anywhere … getting all the way to the FBI.


Theme Song
Violent Femmes - Kiss Off

Balls Deep with BDD

EPIC FAIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOLCAT of the Week

Jesus!!! I just need my gravity bong and a bottle of visine and I am so there

I myself was a nice eating Club at Yale

A good Cup breakdown

"use corpses as a meat shield" - F Yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember, he is married to a playmate, or was married, not real sure. Anyway he aint gay, not that there is anything wrong with that

Nice series of articles on the conflicts between the Global Warming Crowd and the Enviromentalist Crowd.

Congrats to LandyCakes for 100 CAPS

Damn... TinTin was some racist shit

Link of the Week
BDD reaction to the FN owners opting out of the FN labor deal and effectively choking the golden goose like a 13 year-old finding a playboy in the alley.